Starting this blog had me asking myself so many questions. I’ve decided to call myself the ‘empowered’ single mother but just who am I to call myself empowered? Let’s discuss what this means …
Empowered is a woman who took control of her life & future
Empowered is a woman who put herself and her child first and didn’t feel selfish about it
Empowered is a woman who realised you don’t have to stay in a toxic relationship for the sake of a ‘family’
Empowered is a woman who is truly happy knowing she’s no longer with someone who doesn’t respect her, love her or put her as a priority
Empowered is the woman who can now see clearly and use her mind to focus on her goals and her future
Empowered is the woman who chose not to be the ‘main chick’ alongside a series of other women because she realised no one else can come close to her
Empowered is the woman who stopped apologising to end arguments that weren’t her fault
Empowered is the woman who stopped begging someone to stay and started letting them leave
Empowered is the woman who said enough is enough! Even though she lost count of the amount of times she gave one last chance …
Empowered is the woman who realised her crown had slipped from her head and decided to fix it back on …
In case you hadn’t guessed already this woman is me! Of course I can call myself empowered, I’ve achieved this in so many ways. You know what they say, damaged women are the most dangerous, why? They know they can survive! Who else can say this?
Being a single mother for nearly 2 years now I know I can survive, and not just survive but I have got to the point where I actually feel excited about life and the future with my daughter. Looking back at how far I’ve come since being in such a negative and toxic relationship with someone who didn’t know how to love me correctly, someone who believed their own lies, someone who kept secrets, someone who put themselves and others before me and even their own daughter!
Ladies I need to give you the truth! You might not want to listen now, you might come back to read this post more than once or even 100 times! Your child seeing you as a strong, positive, happy woman is 1000x more important than them seeing you with a man! You can give that man chance after chance after chance, and you can treat him like a king but he still won’t see the queen in you.
If he doesn’t respect you now he never will, I can promise you this. If a man doesn’t know how to love you there’s nothing you can teach him, you cannot turn a boy into a man. As harsh as it is these are the facts and I’ve been through it, I’ve learnt the hard way and I want to help other women from my experiences.
I absolutely hate the term ‘broken family’ because there’s many women who have escaped from unhappiness and rebuilt themselves into strong and powerful women who are far from broken, who have empowered themselves and remembered who they are! Your child needs to see you love yourself and I mean truly being in love with yourself! If you do not put the crown on your head and lead by example how can your child grow up happy and successful? If you can’t empower yourself right now I want to be the person who helps you realise exactly what you have inside you. In the beginning it will be hard and you’ll feel like you’ll never stop breaking. But like me, when you look back in months and years to come you’ll see that all of your hard work has paid off. The result of my hard work is having a happy daughter who knows what love is! The love that was built in me and then passed onto her, because of me being focused, because of me believing in myself and my own abilities as a mother even when others did not!
Ladies, there is always time in life to be successful but that has got to start with you and you only. No one else can do this for you, no one else will be there in the morning when you’re struggling to get out of bed, or at 2am when you’re wondering why you weren’t good enough for your ex to change, why he couldn’t love you enough, why he couldn’t treat you like the queen that you are (because believe it or not you are one!), even why certain members of his family turned against you. Holding onto that negativity will drain you and drag you down so forgive yourself for allowing the wrong man into your life and celebrate the fact that you’re now on your own and you’ve got a second chance at happiness. Which all starts with you!
Just to end this blog post I really want to say, coming from someone who has suffered with mental health in the past, if you really feel you are struggling and having more bad days than good please reach out for support and help. Whether this be from your doctor, a family member or friend who you trust. Also, I have time for anyone so if you feel you wanted to speak with someone who doesn’t know you then you can contact me! I’m real and I won’t judge! For me it’s all about supporting and empowering women!
Also … I went over and over this post reading and adding bits. I feel like there’s so much to say on empowerment, so for now this is where I’m finishing but rest assured there will be a part 2 at some point … stay tuned!
Thank you so much for everyone’s support so far and if you liked this post and related to it in any way then please leave a comment! x